Be particular with the company you keep
I spend a lot of time with my mum...
She’s a proper radiant elder... grounded, wise and full of heart.
I reckon, if you’ve got a good one, God lives at the feet of your Muma.
I feel deeply blessed to have mine. She’s a guardian, mentor, best friend and soul sister all rolled into one.
I may not become a Mum myself in this lifetime... but I’m so grateful to have a mum I genuinely love spending heaps of time with.
And it got me thinking about the company we keep.
Because whether we like it or not, the people around us have an impact.
Sometimes you’ll cross paths with... or even share a bloodline with... a bit of a Debbie Downer. That’s life. We don’t always get to choose everyone we’re connected to.
But wherever you do have a choice, be particular about the company you keep.
Be intentional about who gets your time, your energy, your secrets, your laughter and your precious attention.
A simple rule of thumb?
If you wouldn’t trade places with someone, think twice before taking their advice.
That doesn’t mean we only surround ourselves with people who are exactly like us. God, how boring would that be?
Different opinions are wonderful. Being challenged can be healthy. We don’t need a tribe of yes people who tell us we’re fabulous when we’re clearly being a bit of a nightmare.
But I do believe we need to keep checking in...
Does this person expand me... or contract me?
How do I feel after spending time with them?
Do I feel more like myself... or less?
Your circle influences the way you think, feel and see the world. We all know that being around someone joyful can lift us. Just as we know one chronically negative person can completely change the atmosphere of a room.
So be mindful.
Life is far too precious to spend all your time with energy drainers and time bandits.
Prioritise the people who are committed to their own growth. The people who can take responsibility when they get things wrong. The ones who cheer you on, tell you the truth with kindness and genuinely want to see you do well.
The people who nourish your spirit rather than quietly siphon it.
And that’s the thing about being particular with the company you keep...
It doesn’t mean surrounding yourself with the most glamorous, successful or exciting people in the room.
Sometimes the greatest company is the person who has known you forever.
The one who makes you laugh.
The one who tells you when you’re being a goose.
The one you can sit with in complete silence and still feel completely at home.
That kind of company is priceless.
We humans naturally influence one another more than we realise. We pick up on the moods, habits and emotional states of the people around us. The people closest to us can shape our stress levels, thought patterns and even the way our nervous system responds to the world.
Love is contagious.
So is stress.
So is pessimism.
So is joy.
Choose wisely.
The Invitation
Make a little “Nourish or Drain” list.
Write down the people you spend the most time with and, without judgement, ask yourself...
Do I generally feel nourished after spending time with this person... or depleted?
You don’t need to sack everyone who occasionally annoys you. That would leave most of us with no friends by Sunday afternoon.
Just become aware.
Choose one nourishing connection to lean into this week.
Make the call. Go for the walk. Have the long lunch. Send the message.
And if there’s a relationship that is consistently draining you... ask yourself whether it might be time to step back a little.
Kindly.
Lovingly.
Without drama.
Your energy is precious.
Spend it accordingly.
Affirmation
“I surround myself with people who lift me higher. I honour my energy by choosing connections that nourish my soul, challenge me with love and expand my light.”
Space to Reflect, Doodle & Journal
When I notice how I feel after spending time with someone, what does that reveal about whether they nourish my growth or quietly drain my energy?
If my energy is finite and sacred, what boundaries or choices do I need to make to ensure my tribe reflects the life, values and vibration I truly want?
A little vibes and tribes rap to finish!
Surround your heart with vibes that lift,
Choose humans who spark your soul’s gift.
If they shrink you down or dim your light,
Say thanks and step back… keep your circle bright!
About Lucinda
Lucinda Light is a speaker, author, celebrant and professional human-noticer, curious about what makes us tick, connect, love and come alive.
Best known for Married at First Sight Australia and her book Shine Your Light, she explores relationships, self-love, communication and the gloriously messy business of being human.
More from Lucinda → click here
