Be more curious than you are certain

My ex Matty, once told me that when his kids were born, someone asked him what he wished most for them.

Without skipping a beat, he said, curiosity.

Not success. Not certainty. Not some perfectly mapped out life.

Curiosity.

The courage to wonder, roam, explore, ask questions and work things out for themselves.

“It’s the best thing you can carry through life,” he said.

I’ve never forgotten that.

Maybe because curiosity keeps us available to life.

Certainty can be such a tiny room. Curiosity flings open the windows and says, “Ooooh, but what else could be true?”

I bloody love that.

The older I get, the less interested I am in having everything neatly worked out. I’m much more interested in staying open. Wondering. Asking better questions. Leaving a little breathing room between what I think I know and what might actually be going on.

Certainty closes doors.

Curiosity opens portals.

It changes the way we meet people too.

Instead of I know what they’re like, what about I wonder what’s going on for them?

Instead of this always happens to me, maybe it becomes, Hmmmm, what’s this here to show me?

That little shift can change everything….

There’s something deliciously alive about not knowing. Don’t you think?

We’re taught to chase answers, define ourselves, pick a lane, have a five-year plan and generally look as though we know what the hell we’re doing.

But some of the richest bits of life begin with simply saying…

I don’t know yet…

I’m making it up as I go…it will reveal itself in perfect timing…

What if not knowing isn’t something to fix sometimes?

What if it’s an invitation?

Rigidity traps us. Playfulness gives us somewhere to move.

So loosen your grip, you gorgeous creature!

Let yourself be surprised.

Ask the strange question. Talk to someone you wouldn’t normally talk to. Change your mind. Follow the little tug of fascination. Wander down the side street just because something in you whispers, Ooooh, what’s over there?

You don’t have to turn every mystery into an answer.

Some things are meant to be explored.

Here’s a little Invitation

Pick one thing you feel really certain about right now.

It could be about yourself. Someone else. Love. Money. Ageing. Your career. Your body. What you think is possible for you.

Then get curious about it.

Is this absolutely true?

Where did I learn this?

What am I assuming?

What if I’m wrong?

What else could be possible?

Is the certainty of it limiting me?

Don’t rush for the answer.

Riff. Scribble. Contemplate. See what comes.

Here's a cheeky affirmation…

I loosen my grip on certainty. I stay open, curious and willing to be surprised. I let wonder show me what I cannot yet see.

A Couple of Questions to Sit with…

What if the thing you’re most certain about is the very thing keeping you from the life you long for?

Do you already have an inkling of what it might be?

And if wonder rather than fear took your hand for a while, where might it lead you?

Did You Know?

There’s actually some pretty cool science behind curiosity.

Research suggests that when we’re genuinely curious, parts of the brain involved in reward, learning and memory become more active. Curiosity can help us take in new information and remember more of what we discover.

Which makes sense to me.

When we think we already know, we stop looking.

When we get curious, the world gets bigger.

Magic lives in the unknown. Curiosity is your golden key.

About Lucinda

Lucinda Light is a speaker, author, celebrant and professional human-noticer, curious about what makes us tick, connect, love and come alive.

Best known for Married at First Sight Australia and her book Shine Your Light, she explores relationships, self-love, communication and the gloriously messy business of being human.

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